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Lobbyists are tools of ill repute.
They are so generally despised
that even those who use them cannot defend the practice.

In his personal beliefs, the educated man
may esteem the left,
yet, when he seeks legislation to profit his company,
he will esteem the right.
thus, the lobbyist is the tool of the hypocrite.

The legal system is a blunt instrument.
When there is no alternative, use it —
but calmly and deliberately is best.
Do not glorify the contest:
this is the realm of coercion,
and flaunting the use of force
will not win you friends or customers.

In creative work, the left brain is dominant;
in linear thought, the right brain is dominant.
Productive development is a creative process;
testimony is a linear process.
Thus, legal and legislative conflict
is the death of productivity.

No matter who wins the conflict,
the company has lost money and effort
that could otherwise have been spent on something useful.
Win the war,
and treat victory as a tragedy.


chapter notes:

In the original, this chapter relies on cultural elements irrelevant to my purposes, so the difficulty was in finding something appropriate to convert them to. In addition, the logic of this chapter leaves something to be desired (although perhaps it was originally a parody of Confucian arguments?)

At any rate, I found two comparable modern left/right tropes (which are obvious only in retrospect!), and have deployed them in similarly unconvincing style.

In the final analysis, the advantage of corporate warfare over the real thing is that, usually, there are no actual deaths: in this context, wasted time, opportunity, and resources stand in for them.

December 2009

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